The prompt: She rolled her eyes as another one of her cabin mates tried to stifle sobs. She couldn't believe she had to stay at this horrible camp all summer! Her stomach growled. As she stepped toward her trunk for a forbidden snack, she tripped on a loose board. Curious, she leaned over to peek between the cracks, and saw...
Exodus
She tossed and turned as several cabin mates in nearby bunks sobbed and cried for their mothers. Yes, it was a new experience, to go to a camp with roughly constructed barracks in the summer, with poor food so far, and it was stiflingly hot in the crowded room. Furthermore, the camp leaders were strict and could be downright mean.
But Keren, who had just celebrated her 12th birthday the week before going to the camp, wanted to be optimistic. She was outgoing and well-liked, for she consistently had a smile on her face and a compliment to give. Now, she was away from her annoying teenage brother, who teased her, read her private notes, and often stole her bagel before school. Many of her schoolmates were packing up and traveling, sometimes with no notice before they left. It was lonely and troublesome at home.
Keren’s mother and father tended to argue on a daily basis, which was both irritating and scary to hear her parents discuss their plan to move, her mother’s complaints about her father not making enough money to buy the tickets, and her father’s criticism of her mother’s reluctance to depart. It confused Keren because she wasn't sure whether they wanted to leave or not. Her mother and father constantly used sharp words, with the family love seemingly gone.
She was almost pleased to be out of that home environment on this adventure. Tomorrow just might bring a better day, although she was sorely hungry, and the narrow bed she shared with another girl was more like a piece of fence with straw on it. Sleeping did not appear to be an immediate option. The camp uniform was too big and scratchy, and looked like blue striped pajamas. She already missed her best friend, Liesel, who she laughed and played with every day.
The entire family had traveled together to the camp, but was separated as soon as they arrived, after being cooped up on the crowded train car with no food or water, or even a bathroom, for what seemed like an entire day. She left wearing the clothes on her back, with her mother and father clutching small parcels of favored belongings.
In the confusion upon arrival, the camp leaders shouted and instructed where to go and what to do. Hundreds of people huddled together and became startled by their yells. The men, including Keren’s father, re-loaded on the train, while her brother was shuttled on a cart led by horses with other boys to a different part of the camp she supposed. As the open cattle car rolled away along the tracks, she slowly waved at her dad, who appeared miserable. She wanted to feel confident that she would see her family again soon enough, although they may not recognize her.
All of the women and children arriving at the camp had their head shaved upon arrival. Then, they had to strip their clothes and were forced into a room where they were roughly sprayed down with water, lined up naked, and given uniforms. The guards separated the younger girls from the women, and then Keren watched her mother, and the others, march away.
It was a mystery to her as to why they were treated so badly. Many were crying, and Keren felt sorry for them. Now, more tears surrounded her as her stomach growled again. Before bed, they’d hungrily devoured a bitter, watery soup, and it simply was not enough to satisfy her.
“I've got to find something to eat!” she thought as she sat up, and gingerly stepped onto the wooden floor. The unkind guards outside told them to stay in bed until roll call the next morning, but her brother had once complimented her for her craftiness in sneaking food from the downstairs kitchen without her parents discovering it. Feeling confident, she tiptoed towards the door.
In the gloomy quarters with only the light of the moon shining through a few small windows, she lost her balance when she tripped over a loose board. Causing a noisy ruckus with her fall, she scrambled to get back up, again knocking against the slack panel. Embarrassed, with numerous young women looking on, and wanting to overcome her failure to navigate the dark room, she feigned a purposeful floor examination, pointed to the floor and said, “It was loose, I thought …,” and bent down, pretending to peek between the cracks.
At that moment, the door burst open, and before Keren could completely straighten herself up to see who appeared, a bullet hit her in the head, dropping her.
“Heil Hiltler!” one of the guards shouted, and after lowering his raised right arm, abruptly shut the door.
This was a non-winning entry to a short story writing contest this summer. :( It was My first try at writing fiction for a contest, so I do believe that I can produce better work in the future, with at least an honorable mention the next time around! As a teacher, I also understand that judging writing can be very subjective.
Exodus
She tossed and turned as several cabin mates in nearby bunks sobbed and cried for their mothers. Yes, it was a new experience, to go to a camp with roughly constructed barracks in the summer, with poor food so far, and it was stiflingly hot in the crowded room. Furthermore, the camp leaders were strict and could be downright mean.
But Keren, who had just celebrated her 12th birthday the week before going to the camp, wanted to be optimistic. She was outgoing and well-liked, for she consistently had a smile on her face and a compliment to give. Now, she was away from her annoying teenage brother, who teased her, read her private notes, and often stole her bagel before school. Many of her schoolmates were packing up and traveling, sometimes with no notice before they left. It was lonely and troublesome at home.
Keren’s mother and father tended to argue on a daily basis, which was both irritating and scary to hear her parents discuss their plan to move, her mother’s complaints about her father not making enough money to buy the tickets, and her father’s criticism of her mother’s reluctance to depart. It confused Keren because she wasn't sure whether they wanted to leave or not. Her mother and father constantly used sharp words, with the family love seemingly gone.
She was almost pleased to be out of that home environment on this adventure. Tomorrow just might bring a better day, although she was sorely hungry, and the narrow bed she shared with another girl was more like a piece of fence with straw on it. Sleeping did not appear to be an immediate option. The camp uniform was too big and scratchy, and looked like blue striped pajamas. She already missed her best friend, Liesel, who she laughed and played with every day.
The entire family had traveled together to the camp, but was separated as soon as they arrived, after being cooped up on the crowded train car with no food or water, or even a bathroom, for what seemed like an entire day. She left wearing the clothes on her back, with her mother and father clutching small parcels of favored belongings.
In the confusion upon arrival, the camp leaders shouted and instructed where to go and what to do. Hundreds of people huddled together and became startled by their yells. The men, including Keren’s father, re-loaded on the train, while her brother was shuttled on a cart led by horses with other boys to a different part of the camp she supposed. As the open cattle car rolled away along the tracks, she slowly waved at her dad, who appeared miserable. She wanted to feel confident that she would see her family again soon enough, although they may not recognize her.
All of the women and children arriving at the camp had their head shaved upon arrival. Then, they had to strip their clothes and were forced into a room where they were roughly sprayed down with water, lined up naked, and given uniforms. The guards separated the younger girls from the women, and then Keren watched her mother, and the others, march away.
It was a mystery to her as to why they were treated so badly. Many were crying, and Keren felt sorry for them. Now, more tears surrounded her as her stomach growled again. Before bed, they’d hungrily devoured a bitter, watery soup, and it simply was not enough to satisfy her.
“I've got to find something to eat!” she thought as she sat up, and gingerly stepped onto the wooden floor. The unkind guards outside told them to stay in bed until roll call the next morning, but her brother had once complimented her for her craftiness in sneaking food from the downstairs kitchen without her parents discovering it. Feeling confident, she tiptoed towards the door.
In the gloomy quarters with only the light of the moon shining through a few small windows, she lost her balance when she tripped over a loose board. Causing a noisy ruckus with her fall, she scrambled to get back up, again knocking against the slack panel. Embarrassed, with numerous young women looking on, and wanting to overcome her failure to navigate the dark room, she feigned a purposeful floor examination, pointed to the floor and said, “It was loose, I thought …,” and bent down, pretending to peek between the cracks.
At that moment, the door burst open, and before Keren could completely straighten herself up to see who appeared, a bullet hit her in the head, dropping her.
“Heil Hiltler!” one of the guards shouted, and after lowering his raised right arm, abruptly shut the door.
This was a non-winning entry to a short story writing contest this summer. :( It was My first try at writing fiction for a contest, so I do believe that I can produce better work in the future, with at least an honorable mention the next time around! As a teacher, I also understand that judging writing can be very subjective.
